I consider myself very fortunate to have grown up in a loving, middle class family, rather than growing up in poverty.  I have always looked up to both of my parents in admiration, but I idolized my father.  I remember how my father used to work third shift, and I have always admired him for is hard work, day in and day out.  My mother landed a job with an insurance company when she was eighteen, and she still holds the same job to this day; there are many days where I wish I could have followed in my mother’s footsteps.

I can only imagine the stress and worry my parents must have experienced while raising my two older brothers and me.  The love from my parents was unconditional, and that love kept all of us close as a family.

I also feel fortunate that I was able to spend a lot of time around my grandparents on my fathers side, and my grandmother on my mothers side used to baby sit my brothers and me often. We also got to hang out with my Aunt Tracy, and she was young enough to feel more like a big sister than an Aunt; there was never a dull moment when Tracy was around, and that remains true today.  My whole family re-enforced discipline in my brothers and me, though they spoiled us with love.

My family was simply wonderful to grow up with; they helped me out when they could, which left a good impression on me, but how can an adolescent know how to deal with peers who do not instill love but something that almost seems like hatred?  One’s parents can not help but over look what one’s adolescent is going through; especially, when that adolescent does not talk much about what is going on at school because they are embarrassed.

For the most part, middle school was definitely a bad time in my life, and the reason I say this is because I got ridiculed, picked on, laughed at, made fun of, and downsized by my peers every day; except for sixth grade; it was not that bad, as I feel a lot of students kept to themselves.  I’m sure middle school is tough on all students, with puberty and everything else, but I was not cool like most of my peers.  I was an adolescent who was excited to be alive because I knew Jesus, and that reflected in my behavior.  Despite the reasoning of being treated poorly, I did not know how to overcome the humiliation and the heartbreak I was experiencing.

In seventh grade my heart was an open book for all to see, but my peers had a problem with that, so they walked all over me and threatened to beat me up on a regular basis.  Luckily, there were four African American friends I used to hang with at elementary school, and they would take up for me if they thought someone was going too far; however my four old friends were not always around.

I did not wear the same kind of clothes as my peers, and I did not wear my hair the same as the other guys.  My clothes did not matter to me much, and sometimes, I would wear a suit to school just to show my peers they would not get to me, but in the end my peers did get to me.  Despite the fact my peers treated me as an outcast, I wanted to fit in and be popular, but I had to give up a part of me in order for this to happen.

The summer following the seventh grade I was determined to become cool.  I started wearing my hair like the cool guys, and I talked my mother in to buying clothes that were a little more expensive.  Once the new school year came around, I was confident that this year would be different.

Eighth grade was almost as bad as the seventh grade.  My peers started calling me “Pudgy.”  This was not because I was over-weight, but my nose had done some kind of pug-thing over the summer.  My grades faltered even more; instead of paying attention in class, I would draw 4×4 trucks, or my two best friends and I would take the erasers out of pencils and stick pins through them to make little Chinese throwing stars.  My friends and I were more concerned about making one another bleed rather than learning the material our teacher was going over.

In seventh grade, when guys would try to fight me or bully me I would back down due to fear of getting into trouble, because my father wore a belt of discipline.  In eighth grade something had changed; the same guys would get in my face and threaten me or push me, and I would look them right in the eye and push them back.  Of course, this took these guys by surprise and they would back down.

I flunked eighth grade that year, and my two best friends flunked as well; I could not believe it.  Never would I have thought that I would flunk my grade, but I did, and it turned out to be a blessing as far as my peers were concerned; they would be going on to high school without me, and that suited me fine.

The summer following the eighth grade, I grew from 5’8 to 5’11, and my nose had filled out a little more.  When my second year in eighth grade started, I was Mr. Cool.  The girls were breaking their necks to watch me walk by; I was really surprised to see this, and I must say it really boosted my self-esteem as far as my looks were concerned.  Although my social life completely turned around, my grades were still terrible; I just did not care to study, but I somehow made it to high school the next year.

It is amazing how peers can influence the lives of adolescents.  I can see how trials and tribulations of my adolescence have affected my adulthood, and it is not in a good way.  I think my adolescent experience could have caused me to become depressed in later years, and it caused me to put myself in bad situations that still haunt me to this day.

I often wonder if I had paranoid schizophrenia as a child; understand I am not trying to cover for my misfortunes and mistakes.  I realize other kids have problems also, but as you know, we are all different, and that is what makes us unique.

In a way, I am glad I went through that turmoil in middle school because it made me a stronger person.  As I look back to middle school I can laugh at what happened, but I guarantee you the kid who is dealing with harsh peers in this modern day is not laughing at all.

If you are a Christian, please pray for the youth of today; and pray for the adults also.  Everyone please talk to your kids and learn what goes on in their daily lives; you may annoy them a little by doing that, but in the end they will be thankful.  Peace out!

Take care, and God bless!

Chris