Ever feel like the world is against you? It is like no matter what I do to try to make my life right even with help from the Lord, all the odds are against me. Even new or old friends seem to be against me; I believe there is only a couple of friends praying for me constantly because they know I need it.

I am to the point where I just do not care anymore, and it is funny how most of the people around me do not care that I do not care. What is not so funny is people acting holier than thou. It is so bad that it makes me want to throw up.

I used to enjoy the Nazarene Church, but lately I feel as if it is all about attention, recognition, and a “I am watching you kind of mentality”. How dare you have a mental illness when you are a Christ Follower! You are supposed to be happy if the Holy Spirit is in you. Really? You must have blinders on to the world and to Christianity, and to me.

It is one thing to have your self-righteous opinion, but to judge someone on their happiness is just plain wrong. Perhaps you could walk in their shoes; oh, that is right, you can not! I doubt your innocent ears could bare to listen.

I know what you may be thinking, because I can not walk in your shoes either. I do not know what you have been through unless you tell me, but let’s face it that could take a while, but I understand if you do not want to tell me because I am not within your little circle. Perhaps you are thinking respect is earned, and while that may be true it goes both ways.

The Bible says the Lord saves those who are crushed in spirit, so what does this say to you when you are supposedly watching me and expecting a smile on my face? Guess what? I am watching you too, and I am listening!

Please understand, I am generally a happy person because of the Holy Spirit, but it is mainly people that make me sad and depressed, yet God says to love you. I do love you, but please know I am loving you from afar until you love me back. Do not think I am clueless as to how you are acting toward me either; your gestures or lack-there-of do not go unnoticed.

I love you all; some up close and some from afar.

#Godpleaseforgiveme

Take care and God bless!

Chris