Never in my wildest dreams did I think I would be a pastor; let alone a lead pastor of a church of my own! If you asked my younger self, I dreamed of being a pediatric oncologist (a children’s cancer doctor). I knew I wanted to help and serve people, but more than that, through my college years I didn’t know! An English teacher, a nurse, and the majors went on and on. I entered the career world as an agent of insurance with no license. Once licensed I quickly became a leader in multiple offices. I was still never quite settled while working in clinics and hospitals, and my spirit was never content.

It wasn’t until Chris and I moved back to Maryland to my family and my home church that something changed! I found refuge and joy in serving at the church. At first, I was on the worship team, but don’t worry; I was not a singer but in the sound booth and on the computer, and then I was a K-1 Sunday School teacher! It was through these processes I realized that helping and serving was God calling me into ministry. 

I started out as a children’s ministry director, and 12 years later I am a lead pastor, and I am an Ordained Elder in the Church of the Nazarene. 

I don’t want to go into the specifics of my journey, but as a young inexperienced pastor, I made mistakes. I was learning not only about ministry but about myself and my faith. There was hurts, trials, and trauma along the way. In the churches this occurred, and in my next ministry I longed for healing, acceptance, and opportunity to learn and grow. I did not want to be defined by my past! I found safe spaces and people along the way. A decade and more in ministry, you can become disillusioned and discouraged. The joy, passion, and zeal for pursuing the Lord’s call snuffed out by hypocrisy, self-centeredness, a lack of understanding of God and His call in His people. I expected this from the world, but I did not expect so much of those things in His church and from His people. 

Why keep going you may ask? It’s rather simple: God hasn’t released me from ministry. I am still called to love God and love people. I still have a heart that seeks the lost and that wants to help those that hurt, those who feel broken and finding beauty in the brokenness. I have a passion for those coming up in ministry behind me. Those I worked with as a children and youth pastor are now becoming pastors as well. I want them to stay in ministry for the long haul! I am passionate about helping them succeed in a world that doesn’t understand what it is we are called to do, and the ones we are shepherding who don’t want a shepherd or want to be king of their own lives! 

The things we most hold onto on the hard days are the wins for the kingdoms purposes! The community being reached that was overlooked for years. The people making relationships with God, growing spiritually, the children who want to sleep at the church or be there whenever the doors are open!  All the ways God moves in us, around us and through us. I just remember maybe I need them as much as they need me! 

Come back to the place of safety, all you prisoners who still have hope! I promise this very day that I will repay two blessings for each of your troubles.

Zechariah 9:12 

And we all need God! I continue to be a prisoner of hope! 

Grace and Peace,

Crystal