Life is full of surprises: some good and some not so good.  A couple of weeks ago I woke up at 3am on a Saturday morning to urinate.  Now, I do not want to get too graphic, but I discovered a lump in my private area.  The lump is about the size of a marble or larger, so Crystal took me to urgent care the following Sunday after church.  Crystal and I had to wait a while, as the waiting room was filled with sick people wearing masks, but my name was called relatively quickly considering.

After being called back, I had to wait in a small, hot room with Crystal sitting right beside me; finally, a physicians assistant came in, and she started asking me questions about what I had discovered and I do not know what else.  Then I had to lose all dignity and take off my pants and put on an ill-fitting gown that was way too small, and then the PA came back in and started to examine the area in question.

After the PA examined me, she ordered an ultrasound to get a better look at what we were dealing with.  So, a nurse came with a wheel chair and I tried to get in without mooning her, and she wheeled me down a couple of halls until we got to the room with the ultrasound equipment; I had to lay on a bed while she did the procedure, and fifteen minutes later she was finished.  Then, she wheeled me back to the room where Crystal was waiting.

A long while after that the PA came back in and said the lump had been identified as a cyst, and in fact, there were several cysts located in the same region.  After that, I got dressed and we left with the information on how to get in touch with urology at UNC Hospital.  The next morning Crystal called and made me an appointment, so I have an appointment for February 3rd, and we will see what is going on.

So, now I get to look forward to more humiliation, and I will have to answer numerous questions about my private area, and until then I get to worry about whether it is something serious or not.  I want to be courageous in this situation, but it is difficult with a mind like mine which wants to imagine the worst-case-scenario; however, sometimes I briefly think it is probably nothing.  The most difficult aspect is having to wait while I try to imagine a different life, and even death.  I think about Crystal in a life without me: she is one of the strongest people I know, but I also know if she lost me she would be devastated.

Maybe I am coming off as dramatic when I do not know anything yet, but that is really not my intention nor am I seeking attention.  The only reason I am mentioning any of this is because Crystal and I need prayer; I know Crystal is worried because I can see it in her eyes, and she has said so.  I have always said Gods will be done, but I would be lying if I said His will does not scare me sometimes; frankly, I have not prayed about it myself because I am afraid, confused and embarrassed.  So, if you have a mind, heart or spirit to pray for Crystal and me please do; there are already people praying for us, but I figured why not open it up.

Well, I will keep you posted on how my appointment goes.  Thanks for reading!

I love you all!

Take care and God bless!

Chris